I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
