Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
