she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't deserve a penis
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
