Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
this boner is exhausting
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
