I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
