Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Enjoy the penises
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
