That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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