On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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