Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
