im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
