He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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