Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
