Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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