His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he thought i was a dude.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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