No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i drank out of a bidet.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
