East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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