god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
