I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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