We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
