apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
