did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
