I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
