Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize