He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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