spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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