Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we made out on top of his cat.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
