No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He passed out mid-signature
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
