More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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