That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize