On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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