Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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