The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
