If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Let's get the cat blown out
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
