My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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