who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
