you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
