He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize