Dual....:-)
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
