Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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