no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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