how can u be prego again
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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