She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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