I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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