I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize