Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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