i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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