Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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