You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
