Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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