Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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