Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
