are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize