so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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