I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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