dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
