u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
