2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
