we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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