My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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