Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
