Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
